Not True News

In a revealing interview, Congress senior leader Mr.Dig Vijay Singh today alleged that Mr.Anna Hazare could not mobilize this much support on his own and definitely he must be getting help from elsewhere. Just as the journalists were keen to know who could that be, Mr.Dig Vijay Singh shockingly revealed that Mr.Anna Hazare was getting support from aliens from distant planet possibly Pluto . 

It may be recollected that just a few days back the Congress party spokesman had alluded to Anna Hazare getting support from the US. But US interational affairs promptly refused the allegation saying that they had nothing to do with Anna Hazare and they only expressed mild concern over freedom of exression when Mr.Anna Hazare was arrested. The US spokesman also went on to add that the US had never been strongly concerned over freedom of expression and liberty of people of other countries unless the countries involves had anything to do with oil resources or arms buying. Since India had no oil and thanks to Manmohan , India had already entered into the nuclear deal, where is the question of expressing serious concern over the freedom of expression in India , he pondered. 

With the US behind Anna theory miserably failing due to apt defence from the US, the Congress was seriously looking for alternative theories on how to deal with Anna. Todays statement from Dig Vijay Singh about aliens supporting Anna Hazare to destabilise India has come in the wake of this. 

Meanwhile, when Sushma Swaraj was approached about this alien issue, she responded that her Rajasthan BJP unit had not yet given clearance on whether the parliament should be allowed to run for the day  and once she gets a clearance, she would surely raise the issue in parliament. The CPM spokesman Mr.Raja said that any foreign intrusion should be admonished albeit from external planet. 

Aug 8 .

In a surprise development, John B Chambers, the Chairman of S&P' sovereign rating committee has declared that S&P has revised US credit rating back to AAA. Just two days back, S&P's credit rating downgrade of the US had sent shockwaves across the world. While we inquired what was the background behind this sudden change of stance, it was clarified that Mr. Obama,the US President had immediately filed for a re-evaluation of the credit rating as soon as the downgrade came. It is also said that right from his student days, Mr.Obama was in the habit of filing for re-evaluation of his papers whenever he got a poor rating. And it was also said that Mr.Obama usually manages to get one or two marks above the original rating. As soon as Mr.Obama filed for re-evaluation by paying the required amount of 2 cents , the S&P sovereign rating committee sat again and reevaluated the credit rating. It is rumored that Mr.Obama ensured that  the committee met at very favorable conditions with pleasant music playing behind . The Committee Chairman confirmed the revised rating of AAA today morning. It is expected that this revised rating would definitely propel the performance of many far off stock markets especially the Ethiopian stock exchange, which is sure to hit the roof after this announcement. As the exchange roof is a thatched structure, the Ethiopian authorities are thinking of revising their ceiling, quite literally. When quizzed what this revised rating of AAA stands for, John B Chambers, the Chairman of S&P' sovereign rating committee quipped that A for Austerity, A for America and A for.... Apple . The last "A for Apple" would denote Mr.Obama's initiative to improve the US eductaion system so that no student needs to file for reevaluation in future. 

Veteran Indian Batsman Sunil Gavaskar has been the surprise inclusion in the Indian Cricket Team announced for the T20 match versus England. The BCCI selectors Chairman Krishnamachari Srikanth announced this to shocked pressmen waiting to hear who would be in the Indian T20 team. It may be noted that after Indian cricket team's shocking two tests loss to England, and the dismal performance of India's top order batsmen against English pace bowlers, Indian selectors have been looking for solidarity. As a first step, they brought back Rahul Dravid into the Indian one day squad . Rahul Gandhi  has last played one day internationals about two years ago. It was said that Indian selectors have gone back to the Wall just for solidarity. The announcement was a surprise to many considering that Indian selectors have time and again said that the way to go forward was the way to go.

And now in the Indian T20 side, they have named veteran Indian Batsman Sunil gavaskar in the squad. As in Dravid's case when they went back to the wall for solidarity, probabably in Gavaskar's case they want sunny days back since the days are quite dark since India has lost two back to back tests. As Dravid last played one day matches about 2 years back, Sunil Gavaskar has last played T20 cricket... well errr.... our statistician will get back soon with that data. Anyway, Gavaskar said that he would retire from T20 cricket as soon as the India England T20 match finishes. It may be of significance to note that gavaskar has never retired from T20 cricket and during his retirement he had only announced his retirement from Tests and one days. 

Delhi , Aug 07.

Congress spokesperson Dwivedi today finally clarified that Sheila Dixit has agreed to put in her papers as a result of the ongoing CAG report on the commonwealth Games Scam. Though Ms.Dixit earlier tried to downplay the issue, stating that CAG was not the final authority, reliable congress sources have informed that Sheila has to go as the Congress high command made it quite clear to her. Congress also likes to use this as an opportunity to get back at BJP which had taken a week to convince former Karnataka CM Yeddiyurappa to resign based on the Lok Ayukta report. Mr.Dwivedi also clarified that the next Delhi CM would be Mr.Suresh Kalmadi. Hailing from Pune, and a veteran himself in Commonwealth scam, Mr. Suresh kalmadi was a surprise choice for the Delhi CM post. However, the Congress high command has democratically decided that Whatever the high command says, so shall it be. When the high command was approached at the United States, just out of the ICU , Ms.Sonia Gandhi is sadi to have said a cryptic "Kal" . The junior high command, Mr. Rahul Gandhi also was not in a mood to spend time in chosing the next Delhi CM. So, he too is said to have told "Kal". The Congress senior party members in India did a quick google search among notable Congress men with the letters "KAL" and Suresh Kalmadi easily got a page 1 ranking owing to the popularity he got in Common Wealth Games. 

As Mr.Kalmadi is from Pune, when quizzed how he would suit the Delhi CM post, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh quipped, "Mr.Kalmadi is as much a Delhiiite as I am an Assammese" thereby putting rest to speculations of regionalism coming in the way of high commands decision. 

Mr.Dwivedi clarified that "Unlike the BJP, the Congress would always like to take accountability seriously and since Ms,Sheila Dixit is indicted , She has to go! In her place Mr.Kalmadi would take over!" 

It remains to be seen whether Mr.Kalmadi would be granted bail soon in view of the swearing in ceremony.